Music: Kelly Clarkson - Behind These Hazel Eyes (MV)
Mood: Crushed
Thoughts: Crizel is next to me. Oops. Keep it PG.
Chatting: No body
Food: None Drink: Water

WARNING: UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO GO THROUGH A RAGE-FILLED RANTING IN THE NEXT PARAGRAH PLEASE, FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, TURN AWAY FROM THE SCREEN AND PRESS THE BACK BUTTON

What the hell am I supposed to do now? I've waited and waited for nothing but another heartbreak. You can't seriously expect me to sit here and take all your shit. I've done nothing but hurt for you. Hurt because of you. You can go off having a blast for all I care but I'm still here. How can you be so selfish? I'm still here. I'm still here. Can't you see that? I'm still fuckin here. I'm still sitting alone every night without you. I'm still drifting away waiting for you to catch me. I was at the point of giving up on you when you finally pulled me out of the dark and into your light. What for? Just so you can shove me back deeper into the hole? Who am I to you? Why are you doing this to me? If you don't want me just say it. You can't do this to me. I have been the best that I could be for you. Please just end it with me. What the hell? What do you expect from me? I'm not perfect. I'm not perfect. You know I'm not perfect. But nobody is perfect. Why are you hating me for who I am. This is who I am. If you see the real me and you still can't love me. Then everything we have ever shared was a lie. If I'm a liar then I'd rather be a Goddamn liar than whatever you're supposed to be. Leaving me here. The person who probably cares for you more than your own mother. The person who you hurt the most in your whole life. I have loved you more than you would ever know. What kind of person does that? I have held you in my heart for the longest time only for you to fuck it over. Every happy moment we have ever shared means nothing if you never loved me. You can't say you love me because I can't feel it. I can't feel your love. There's no excuse for that. I can feel the love you give to others. The love you give to people you don't even know. I can feel that and I can feel that none of your love ever went through me. I'm not going to spend my time crying over you anymore. I've done my hurting. I've done my crying. I've done my waiting. If you're not going to have me then I'm not going to have you. I'm giving up on you since you've given up on me a long time ago. When? You want to know when? The fuckin second you stopped loving me. The second you had a doubt in my love for you. Get the fuck away from me if all you're going to do is hurt me. There is no you and me. There will never be a you and me. I'm the one walking out the door this time. Don't think about the good times because you killed it. You killed it with the knife that you used to stab my heart. What am I feeling right now? Anger. Rage. Pain. But none of this is sadness anymore. I'm done being sad. I'm done pretending. I'm done with you. That's it. It's over. I am done loving someone who looks down at me. Next time you try to talk to me --- say it to my fuckin face. Not myspace livejournal or xanga. Why am I doing it now? Coz that's the only way you'll fuckin listen to me. You don't have to look at my face so you'll say anything. Don't worry. Soon. Expect me soon.

Cahmille